


First Love Strikes Quick

by a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Love, M/M, Making Out, Monster of the Week, Sam Winchester Knows, love reveal, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle/pseuds/a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle
Summary: a monster of the week hunt forces the truth to come out. and Castiel. and Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	1. the case

“So… get this-” Dean looks up at Sam, delighted at the opening to make fun of him for saying that phrase for the thousandth time, before Sam holds up a hand. “Can it, man. It’s a case.”

Dean deflates. “Yeah, I knew that.” he mutters moodily. 

Sam rolls his eyes and continues as Castiel enters the library and sits down across from Sam. “Six people dead in Mayfield, Michigan. Each found, in pairs, with mirrored wounds and then, and this is the really weird thing, inside each of the victim’s stomachs? They found bird eggs. Hatched.” 

Dean scrunches up his nose in disgust. “What the hell.”

“That’s definitely unusual.” 

Dean looks at Cas blankly. That’s a hell of an understatement. “Probably some freaky-ass Big Bird mating ritual or some shit.” He shudders. “Where are all the werewolves, Sammy?” 

Sam raises his eyebrows and tucks his laptop under his arm. “Let’s go. It’s a long drive.” 

Dean sighs heavily and pushes himself up from the table. He misses werewolves. 

\----

“So your sister, Marie, did she know Mr. Peterson?” Sam asks gently. Cas shifts uncomfortably next to him, tugging at his tie for the sixth time that minute. Dean clears his throat and nudges him with his elbow. Cas looks at him with furrowed eyebrows, and Dean juts out his chin at him with raised eyebrows, like seriously?

“Uh,” Penny hesitates, distracted by the two FBI agents bickering silently on her couch. Sam lets out a breath and glares at the two of them. If they could just be professionals for once. “Yeah, she and Tony were high school sweethearts. But… Marie hasn’t even spoken about Tony since she was 17. I mean, she was happily married!” She sniffs and wipes at her eyes with the crumpled tissue in her hand. 

Sam nods understandingly, putting a hand on her arm as they stand up to leave. “We’re so sorry for your loss.” 

The second they’re outside, Cas rips his tie loose. “So, the same as the last pair.”

Dean squints his eyes at Cas. The guy really has no patience for a correctly worn tie. Not that he cares, really, it’s just kind of childish for an Angel of the Lord to be so uncomfortable with a piece of fabric when he won’t complain about a gaping battle wound. “Yep, all high school or college sweethearts, all moved on and happy.”

Sam shakes his head. “I have no idea.” 

“Well, I say we get some grub and brainstorm.”

\---

Back at the hotel, Dean gets a call from the coroner. “Uh, yeah, okay. Thanks.” he hangs up and leans back against his headboard. “Coroner just identified the eggshells. They’re from doves. And they definitely hatched inside the victims.” 

“Doves have long been a symbol of love.” Cas comments idly. He’s sitting cross-legged on Dean’s bed, and he picks a piece of lint off Dean’s pants. Dean ignores him after a brief confused glance his way. Sam is studying their wall of clippings and lore with crossed arms. 

“Hey guys, we’ve got two of our vics going to this, uh… Chateau Chantal before they died. It’s this big bed and breakfast next town over.”

Dean nods. “Sounds like a bet to me.”

All signs are pointing to love.


	2. the problem

There is definitely a suspicious figure. The manager of the bed and breakfast, Pamela Demos. Something about her is just off.

“She just gives me the heebie-jeebies, man, I don’t care what it is.”

“I agree.” Cas surprises him by saying. 

“The way she smiled at us, I don’t know, she didn’t seem to be that worried about us investigating.”

“So it’s settled. We break in the creepy chick’s cabin tonight during cocktail weenies, or whatever.” 

Of course, things didn’t go to plan. The moment they step through the door, it all goes to shit. Lights out.

\---

They wake up in a tavern lit up by freaking candles. What the hell. Dean groans and lifts a hand to his head. It doesn’t exactly feel like he’s been hit, no, it feels more like somebody squeezed his head like a freaking lemon over iced tea.

“Gentlemen! A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Her smart business suit is gone and replaced with a long white gown. Around Dean, Cas and Sam are sitting up and staring at her as well. “Now, now, now, you lot give me an interesting conundrum.” She smiles, bopping Sam on the nose lightly. He jerks away from her after a delay, still slow from waking up. 

“What, you just can’t decide which one to go after first? We are all so good lookin’, I know.” Dean’s completely bullshitting, honestly they’ve still got no idea what this lady’s motive is. 

“Pam… Demos. Pan… Demos. Pandemos.” Castiel says slowly, eyes widening. “Pandemos.”

Sam gasps. “Aphrodite?” 

“Aphrodite? What the hell?” Dean looks at Sam. “Why is Aphrodite killing people?”

Aphrodite rolls her eyes and squats down in front of him. “I am not  _ killing  _ people.” She huffs. “You apes today are so… debased, compared to the heroes of old. You have no concept of purity.”

Dean grins. “Ya got me there, sweetheart.” 

Sam speaks up before Dean can get himself bitch-slapped by a goddess. “Is that what this is about? Purity?”

Cas continues his thought. “First loves. You’re killing first loves.”

“They’re the purest.” Aphrodite sniffs and looks at her nails, like she’s pouting. “And yet, even those fail in this age. No commitment anymore.” 

“So what, you bring people’s first loves to them and when they can’t pass your test, you kill them?” 

Aphrodite is not amused. “I don’t kill them. The cracks in their love just shine through. All I do is allow something pure to come from that.” 

“The doves. That was you.” 

Aphrodite curtsies in confirmation. “And now it’s time to face the test. Any volunteers?” Sam, Dean, and Cas look at each other, wide-eyed. “I’ll give you a moment to decide.” 

She disappears with a puff of purple smoke and Dean sags against the wall. “Fucking great. Of everything in the whole fucking world, she wants to put our love lives to the test? Ours? We’re dead for sure.”


	3. cas would like a convenient death scene please

Sam sighs. “Who’s got the best chance at having a ‘pure love’?” They all shift around nervously. 

“Who was yours, Sammy? Jessica? You guys were the fucking normalest.”

“We wouldn’t make it.”

“Because she’s dead?”

Sam grimaces. “Because I never told her about what we do.” 

Dean lets his head thud against the wall. “Great. We’re doomed.”

“What about yours, Dean?” Dean deadpans over to Castiel, who actually looks a little freaked out for once. “Who was it?”

“Uh…”

“Cassie, right?”

Dean shrugs. “I guess. But… we didn’t exactly end pretty. Hell, we didn’t exactly go pretty in the first place. No way we’re getting any rom-coms.”

“Well, we might just have to try it. Unless… Cas, is there any chance…?” Sam chances a glance over at Cas, who has a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face. 

Dean makes a face at him. “Cas? Did you even ever…” Cas looks down, face turning red. “Okay, well that’s a yes. What, you too shy to share with the class? Not to be a dick, but this is kinda not the time.”

“Dean, I… no. No, it can’t be me.”

“But Cas-”

“Sam.” Cas’s voice goes steely, but Sam sees just a hint of pleading in his expression. It scares Sam.

“Okay.” 

“Okay?!” Dean scoffs. “Sam, I don’t wanna get killed by a fucking love goddess in a love grotto in Michigan!”

Aphrodite puffs back into existence with a humorless smile. “Time’s up! Who’ll it be?”

“Cas!” Dean shouts immediately, pointing at him. Cas goes stock still and stares at him, terrified. 

“No. No.” But Aphrodite is already descending on him with a smirk. “It won’t work, I’m not human. I’m an angel, I can’t-”

“Oh, Castiel, don’t mock me. You insolent little thing, you can’t fool the goddess of love. Just because you’re afraid of your feelings, doesn’t mean you don’t have them.”

Cas shuts his face down tight, not looking at her. “Please.” 

“Love is the ultimate truth, Castiel. It has to come out sometime.”

“Don’t do this.” Cas whispers. Sam starts to stand, starts to say something to stop it, but Aphrodite lifts a hand and he slams against the opposite wall. 

“Sammy!” Dean tries to get up too but he’s slammed back down to the floor. 

“Aphrodite, I’ll give you anything.” Cas looks her in the eye. “I have access to heaven, to earth, to hell, even. Anything you could desire.”

“Cas, what the hell are you doing, man? Trying to make a fucking deal right now?” Dean’s pissed. Aphrodite practically hisses at him.

“I want you to realize your true love. I have hope for you, Castiel. I really do. You’ve done much for love, more than almost anyone I’ve seen.” She puts a hand on Cas’s cheek. “We will just have to hope his love is as true.”


	4. dean is oblivious and stupid

Dean turns his head to look at Cas.  _ His?  _ He didn’t know Cas was into guys. Hell, he didn’t know Cas was  _ into  _ anyone. Could be, even. All this time Cas was in love with some random dude and he didn’t even talk about it? It kinda hurts. Sam, meanwhile, manages to let out a strangled noise from his place on the wall. Castiel sets his face carefully blank and stares at her with murder in his eyes. 

Aphrodite starts to murmur in ancient Greek, her voice growing louder as the spell goes on. Castiel starts to light up from the inside with a purple glow, the spell settling into his skin. Dean narrows his eyes, waiting for whoever the hell he’s so afraid of seeing. As he watches, his vision starts to cloud into a purple haze. He looks down, and his skin is glowing purple. 

He looks back up. “I… I don’t get it.” Aphrodite is grinning at him with her eyes so full of expectation he feels like he’s under a microscope. “What-” Did she decide to test them all at once after all? He looks over at Sam; he’s now sitting at the bottom of the wall. His lips are sealed together as he looks back at Dean, nervous and knowing. But not purple. He looks back at Cas. He’s staring straight ahead with no expression. “Cas?”

“Just go ahead and kill me.” Cas says sullenly. Dean would have laughed if he thought he was joking. 

“Cas, what-” Dean stops talking. There’s an answer popping into his head, but it can’t be right. “What-”

“Castiel,” Aphrodite begins, pulling him to his feet. “Who do you love? Who was the first person you ever loved?” 

Castiel sighs. “You already know, so why make me say it?”

“Because it brings me great joy to hear someone say their lover’s name.” 

“He is  _ not  _ my lover.” 

“Fine. Your love, then.” Aphrodite pushes him toward Dean with all her strength, and it takes all of Cas’s might to stop himself from tripping over Dean’s legs. “Say it, Castiel.” Cas stays silent. “Say it!” She twists her hand and Sam’s chest feels like it’s ripping open. 

“Sammy!”

Cas looks at Sam and swallows back a lump in his throat. “Dean.” he says quietly. Sam continues to twist in pain, so he says it louder. “Dean!” He lets his hands fall to his side in defeat, head turned away, and Dean looks up at him. 

“I’m… what?”

“Look at him, Castiel. Tell him what he means to you. Tell him the truth.” He hears the meaning behind her words. Tell the truth or else. He takes a deep breath. He can sacrifice his pride, sacrifice this small peace he’s found, if it saves them. 

He turns to Dean and looks him in the eye, eyebrows pulled together in pain. Dean is looking at him with a wide-eyed shock that shows he’s still in disbelief. He hopes Dean can read the apology in his eyes. He hopes he forgives him for the way his voice is shaking as he tells the truth. “Everything. You mean everything to me, Dean. I love you.” Dean’s eyebrow twitches in confusion, but he doesn’t say anything. He glares up at Aphrodite. “Are you satiated?” 

“But, it’s not like, I mean, it’s not-” Dean stutters before she can answer. Aphrodite is looking at him with a smug smile and Cas has tears in his eyes, but he won’t look at him again. He looks over at Sam, and he’s looking between Cas and Dean with pity and concern. He meets Dean’s eyes and that’s when it hits him. “Cas?”

Cas reluctantly looks back down at Dean. “Dean.” he says quietly.

“Like… that?” 

Cas squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again and nodding. “Yes, Dean.” 

“Like…” 

“Holy shit, Dean,” Sam breathes from the corner. 

“Got something to say, Sam?” 

Sam looks at him levelly. “You might be oblivious, but you’re not stupid.” 


	5. looking back, it was pretty gay

Aphrodite giggles, stepping between Dean and Cas so she can put a hand on both of them. The cave fades away and Dean and Cas are suddenly looking at a large barn, lights sparking high above them. 

“You don’t think you deserve to be saved.” Cas is standing too close to Dean, Dean looks like he’s been struck by lightning. 

They appear next in a dirty motel room, Cas seated on Dean’s bed, going through his toiletries as Dean looks on. 

“No, I’ll stay here.”

“Oh, okay, we’ll have a slumber party.” Dean almost tunes out himself, his brain starting to catch up to what’s happening. They’re watching their lives. The scenes start to appear and disappear faster.

“I’ll watch over you.” 

“I’ll just… wait here then.” 

“Don’t make me lose you too.”

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call. And I am your friend, still. Despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats. Has anyone other than your closest kin ever done more for you?”

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.”

“And the worst part was Dean, trying so hard to be loyal, with every instinct telling him otherwise.” This is a moment Dean didn’t get to see. He looks at Cas and his eyes are filled with the same shame as the memory. It flickers away just as quickly as the others

“I’m doing this for you, Dean. I’m doing this because of you.”

“I’m hunted. I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you.”

This time the scene changes to Bobby’s lockup. Cas staring at Dean intently. 

“Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.” Dean’s breath catches in his throat, because now… does Cas want that? A little tug in Dean’s gut. He ignores it. But now the scenes flash by, and they’re not Cas anymore. They’re Dean.

“Cas! Get out of my ass!”

“I was there, where were you?”

“This is Cas! Don’t we owe him the benefit of the doubt?

“Don’t make me lose you too.”

“Okay, so he’s gone.” Dean feels Cas look over at him, the real him, away from the Dean that’s folding a sopping wet trenchcoat while he cries. Dean’s heart hurts just remembering it.

“I prayed to you, Cas! Every night!”

“I did everything I could to get you out. Everything. I did not leave you.”

“Don’t ever change.” 

On and on and on, scenes of Dean’s life, of Cas’s, of every moment they said what they really meant and every moment they didn’t say anything. Some of the worst and best moments of Dean’s life.

They stop so suddenly Dean lurches forward, and Cas grabs onto his arm instinctively to catch him. Dean looks at his hand and then back up at him, and Cas removes it slowly, fear clear in his eyes. Dean’s vaguely aware of the fact that they’re back in the cave, but Dean doesn’t really care. Aphrodite is staring intently at them, all her attention fixed.

Dean opens his mouth just as Aphrodite explodes in a cloud of purple dust. Sam stands behind her with a bronze dagger in his hand.

Dean looks at him questioningly. Sam shrugs. “It was on her belt. She was distracted, um, while…” Dean nods quickly and steps toward the mouth of the cave.

“Great. Let’s go.”


	6. the truth comes out

They don’t talk the whole way back to the motel. Sam opens his door before the Impala even comes to a stop, desperate to get away from the atmosphere. Dean follows him without looking back, and Cas makes his way slowly to his own room next to theirs.

The only thing Cas hears from the Winchesters’ room is one yell of “What the hell am I supposed to do with that, Sam!” before the voices hush back down. Cas goes to bed with a numbed ache in his stomach he didn’t know he was capable of feeling.

Of course, he doesn’t sleep, so the ache in his stomach doesn’t fade at all as he stares at the ceiling in the dark. It’s sheer emotional defeat that dulls his thoughts enough to not question who is at the door in the middle of the night. He just pads over in his socks and boxers and swings it open to see Dean in a t-shirt and jeans.

“Dean.” Cas is taken aback and a little terrified. Dean stares at him, eyes flicking down to his chest and back up. Cas steps aside to let Dean in, squeezing his arms into his sides.

“Cas.” Dean stalls once he’s in the door, looking around in the dark. “Turn the damn lamp on, will you?” Cas shuffles over and flicks the lamp on. Dean squints at him. 

“Dean, we don’t have to talk about this.”

Dean just stares at him. “Cas, I… I didn’t know you... I didn’t know you felt like that.”

Cas looks down. “I know. I never told you.”

“Why?” 

Dean’s voice doesn’t have anything behind it. Cas looks up at him, confused. “Because I knew it would make you uncomfortable.”

Dean huffs a cynical, humorless laugh. “That’s what I am, isn’t it.”

“What?”

“A coward.” Dean paces forward, running a hand through his hair. “A coward and a dick.” He shakes his head. “You’re right.”

Cas steps closer, trying to get across to Dean how incredibly wrong he is. “I never said that. Dean, I don’t think that.”

“But you knew that I would be uncomfortable if-” he sighs. “We’ve been friends for years, Cas.”

“I know. That’s why I didn’t, why I wouldn’t do anything against you.”

“Against me?”

“To you.”

Dean breathes out quickly and clenches his fist. He forces his face into neutrality again and looks back to Cas. “Do you want to? Do things to me?”

Cas stops breathing. Technically he doesn’t need to breathe, but the implication behind Dean’s voice genuinely takes any breath he had away from him. Dean would not joke about this. Dean’s not joking about this. “Dean?”

“Do you, Cas?”

He lets a long pause pass. A long pause. He lets himself look at Dean’s lips now, lets himself follow the lines on his neck to his collarbone, the muscles clenching in his arms down to strong hands. Lets himself look at Dean’s chest, at his jeans. Lets himself look without hiding it. “Yes.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Cas thinks he must have figured out how to fall asleep and dream, because there’s no way this can be real. But as long as it’s not real, he steps into Dean’s personal space like he used to, feels the way Dean tenses as he gets close. He puts a tentative hand on Dean’s side, barely touches him with his fingertips, letting his other hand stall next to Dean’s. He finds himself unable to do anything more, unsure. Moving incrementally. 

Dean allows instinct to tense his whole body when Cas draws close, but when he stops moving, Dean steels himself. He can stop being a coward. He’s been doing it all his life. He moves quickly and gently, pulling Cas assuredly in by the neck and kissing him firmly. Cas responds almost immediately, settling his hand on Dean’s hip and the other gripping his side. Dean opens his mouth after the first kiss and licks into his mouth deeply. Cas makes a muffled sound and Dean pulls away, still holding onto his cheeks. “Was that too fast?” he asks quietly.

Cas suddenly understands why Dean finds it so easy to find one night stands. Being in his arms, with his voice asking for reassurance with such concern, he feels cared for. “No, Dean, not too fast.” He leans back in to kiss Dean again, trying to prove it. He overcompensates and Dean falls back on his heels, chuckling into Cas’s mouth before returning the kiss. 

The kisses turn sloppy as Dean runs his hands over Cas’s shoulders and down his arms, pulling Cas flush against him as he puts his feet outside Cas’s. Cas gasps as Dean’s crotch presses against the thin fabric of his boxers. “Dean.” Cas says raggedly. 

“Cas.” Dean says back, barely pausing.

“Is this- is this what you want?” He tilts his head back slightly from Dean.

Dean grins. “Does it feel like it’s what I want?” he asks lowly. He tucks his leg around the back of Cas’s so he can feel how hard he is through his jeans. He gets a bolt of satisfaction as Cas’s breath hitches, feels even more at the clear feeling of Cas’s own cock against his. Dean leans back in and pulls Cas’s lip through his teeth as he puts pressure against his hips. 

Cas shudders from overwhelming stimulation. He feels Dean respond to it by softening his grip, allowing him a little reprieve from the intensity. God, he was so considerate. “Dean, I don’t- for me-”

Dean pulls away fully then, concern and doubt etched all over his face. “What?” 

“I want more than-” Cas struggles to think of his emotional wants when he can feel his physical wants so clearly in the moment. He gestures between them, hoping Dean can catch on.

“Cas.” Dean grips his hand suddenly then, so much it almost hurts. “You dumb son of a bitch, didn’t you see?” Cas stares at him wide-eyed. See what? “What Aphrodite showed us, it wasn’t you falling in love with me.” 

Cas blanches. That had been exactly what it is. How had there been such a gap in communication that Dean still misunderstood?

Dean puts a hand on his cheek and pulls Cas’s gaze back to him with deliberation. “Cas. It was  _ us.  _ It was me too. It was us falling for each other.” 

“You…” 

Dean laughs now. “Sam was right; we really are perfect for each other.”

“Dean…”

“I love you.” Dean says it with a wide smile, the type of love that opens you up and makes you happy no matter the circumstances. The type of love that doesn’t fail or fall short. The type of love that just  _ is.  _

Cas can't believe how lucky he is. “I love you too.” 


End file.
